Dragonball Evolution

"The legend comes to life"

THEN THEY FUCKING KILLED IT!!!







Ok, so I decided since I've been on a Dragonball/DBZ/DBGT kick for the past few weeks, I'd check out this film. I've been a HUGE fan of the manga and anime since I was a kid.

Now, I went in with somewhat low expectations.

But... dear fucking god, it was even worse then I expected!

Ok, so to start, the things I didn't hate(since it's a very short list).

Piccolo's voice was pretty much spot on, and he looked somewhat like I imagined a real life version of him would look.
Yamcha's voice, also SPOT ON.

uhhh....
Goku seemed like Goku in two short parts of the film, once where he is stuffing his face(as he tends to do in the series) and then when he is taunting some kids fighting him.

Master Roshi was still kinda the pervy Master Roshi we all know.

That's... it.



The rest made me so angry I don't even know where to begin.
Bulma was a "badass" WHAT THE FUCK. Bulma is supposed to bitch and moan the whole time. She's not badass, she's supposed to be annoying. She doesn't fight, she screams and runs.
Yamcha is supposed to be afraid of girls... not smooth... and not... blonde.
Who the FUCK is that chick supposed to be with Piccolo?
There is virtually no action and when there is it's like the director REALLLLLLY wanted to be Zack Snyder and failed terribly.
Goku does not meet Chi Chi in high school and WTF why is she so nice?! Where is the stubborn Chi Chi we all know and love?!?!?
Did these people who made the film even attempt to read the manga or watch the series?!
HOW does Goku transform without his tail.
Why does Piccolo have control over him when he transforms?
Why does he transform at an eclipse and not a full moon?
why do the dragonballs show him the future?
Why is this movie only an hour and 20 minutes? You know what that is in DB time? Shit if it were realistic, they'd be powering up the whole time.
Why does Goku and his grandfather Gohan know about the Nameks? And why are they all concidered evil? Piccolo and Kami don't find out who they are and where they come from until the Vegeta saga in Z, and Nameks are peaceful!!!!!!


There is no character development.
What the fuck happens to Piccolo.
THE DRAGON IS SUPPOSED TO FILL UP THE SKY, MAKE IT GO BLACK, AND BE FUCKING BADASS.
Not this dinky little lame ass thing.








There'smore.


A lot more.

But fuck it. I'm done, I just wanna wash my brain out with some bleach.





In fact, I'd rather stare at this for an hour and 20 minutes:



-gAk-